The Great Village Easter Egg Hunt Mystery – Set to Remain One of the Great Village Egg Mysteries

I am Maisie Walsh, the Chief Reporter for the We Love Our Village website. Our own village newshound.

I am tenacious.  Persistent.  Thorough.

I am a perseverer.

Once I get my teeth into a story, I will not let it go until the truth is uncovered.

Furthermore, I am unwavering in my adherence to my own code of journalistic ethics and my strong sense of what is wrong and what is wrong, as I strive to bring you – our villagers and potential advertising respondents – the most precious gift that I can bring:

The plain and simple Truth.

Since the last post on this website, some 9 days ago – I have been doing a fair bit of investigating into the shenanigans at the Village’s Great Easter Egg Hunt.

Mr Petersham decided that it would be ‘inappropriate’ to post ‘Egg Hunt Updates’ during this last week, given (in his words) the ‘earth-shattering’ events that happened during the week.

Mr Petersham also deemed that we should not publish any news or anything useful on this site as we all come to terms with events. As Mr Petersham said, for the next few days ‘there is no such thing as our village society, we all need to look after ourselves.’

He went on to say that ‘all egg stories were off limits, as it brought back too memories of resignations and cover ups’ which were ‘also inappropriate at this time.’

I am sure we are all dealing with ‘the news’ in our own way.

I have used this sombre time to carry out some Egg Hunt investigations and to visit a spa and take up some Boxercise classes. This was part of my work on this website in a bid to secure some much-needed advertising revenues.  You may see the results of this ‘research’ in the future. It just seemed appropriate that the time should be used to try to sell something.

I can now confirm that my 9 days of investigating have not uncovered any fresh leads in the ‘Egg Hunt Scandal’ and we will not be covering this story any more.

We did have one witness come forward to the WeLoveOurVillage website, and you can read the comments on the original news story post. The witness, who identified themselves only as ‘Witness’ stated that she (or he) had seen ‘a much -respected member of the Parish Council’ leaving ‘the house’ of a ‘neighbour opposite (her bedroom which would be opposite the grounds of the village church near the near side of the High Street as you look at the Church from the top end of the the village pub car park).’

This is a serious allegation. But we now believe it is without substance and like the (probable) witness at that time of night – without foundation. And we all know that a story (like a middle-aged Witness’ face) without foundation is full of holes and other inconsistencies and eruptions.

And while we thank the Witness for taking the time to provide with some ‘information’ (which may well show the potential of this website to local businesses who are looking for local advertising response) – we have dismissed the claims made, since in the words of someone very senior in the running of this website “we all know who posted those comments. And she’s a barmy old woman who wears too much make up.’

I did write in the first posting of this shocking story that the suspect is ‘someone who knew where the eggs were and had access to sign-making equipment.’

That was a rash statement. With no basis in fact. I fell victim to that old journalistic foe: ‘conjecture.’

Having reviewed the facts with Mr Petersham and our local ‘bobby on the beat’ PC Phelthwaite, it was pointed out how wild my accusations were and the damage they could potentially cause our local community.

And on reflection the flaws in my logic were obvious. Just because the incident in question involved signage and locating the whereabouts of hidden eggs, does not automatically mean that the perpetrators knew where the eggs were and had access to sign-making equipment. People stumble upon hidden eggs all the time and make signs of a professional quality sometimes by accident.

The line of enquiry that I suggested was based on a set of circumstances that were purely circumstantial and automatically directed the finger of suspicion at someone like ex-councillor Marcus Phelchurch.  It was Mr Phelchurch who helped to plant the eggs and owns a large signage concern. I now realise that raising the possibility that someone of Mr Phelchurch’s stature was involved in this childish prank was plainly ridiculous as he would just not do something like this. Nor would his children. Nor his grandchildren.

Instead the opposite is probably true. And the ‘crime’ was actually probably committed by someone who did not know where the eggs were and had no access to signage making equipment. It stands to reason. As PC Phelthwaite said ‘it’s like saying that someone who owns a gun is more likely to shoot someone than someone who doesn’t own a gun. We all know that people who shoot people borrow or steal guns to do this.’

I know this is true. For our own Major Flemimgton Fore-Shortener owns several guns and has hardly shot anyone at all, with them.

So, that is where we are. We have no further leads to follow. Although our local Bobby has asked our local Neighbourhood Watch to keep their eyes out for someone who keeps ‘happening upon eggs, quite by chance and has no access to sign making equipment.’  If you know someone who fits this description why not drop WeLoveOurVillage an email?

And so, as it stands we must all agree that the Great Village Easter Egg Hunt Signage Mystery remains just that - a Great Village Easter Egg Hunt Signage Mystery.

Not a newshound, but a bloodhound but I am sure you get the idea. This represents my desire to get to the truth about The Great Village Easter Egg Hunt Mystery in a nice way.

Not a newshound, but a bloodhound but I am sure you get the idea. This represents my desire to get to the truth about The Great Village Easter Egg Hunt Mystery in a nice way.

A spa resort - where I unwound after a week of revelations and 'earth shattering news.'

A spa resort – where I unwound after a week of revelations and ‘earth shattering news.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

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