Your village website is able to report that there have been no major develpoments in what villagers are now referring to as “StumbleGate” - in reference to the fact that the incident in question took place near to someone’s gate at the far side of the High Street.
There has been little progress today in the investigation of the circumstances around the stumbling incident. Partly due to the feeling in the village that events had moved at such a break neck speed that in the days following the incident there came an inevitable hiatus – allowing those involved to catch their collective breaths.
And partly because I, your village website editor and chief reporter, was asked to curtail any editorial duties today to sell advertising space in our new lifestyle supplement aimed at our villagers with ‘spending power.’ This supplement covers all the usual stuff such as bikes, stuff for kids, gym stuff, exercising, cooking, alternative therapies etc that I am told is going to be called Accoutrements – with the Coutre in bold so it looks like Culture. Frankly I am not sure about it and we’re offering very cheap advertising space – which doesn’t seem to fit with the ‘upmarket positioning of this exciting new addition to the local media scene’ as Mr Petersham calls it.
I will return tomorrow with an update. We must not let the creeping fingers of commercialisation detract from this website’s mission to bring you the news that matters in the village. We will leave no piece of gravel (pointed or otherwise) unturned as we do this. Though we wil try to make sure the pointy bits are facing down when we leave them.
An Apology – it was suggested in yesrteday’s post that the men spreading grit late last night were hooligan scum, hell bent on causing personal injury to our villagers. In fact they were men from the Town who were spreading grit to prevent slips and trips on our icy pavements and so were in fact hell bent on doing the opposite to what we said.