Professor Otto von Biff-Boffen – A new educational character for WLOV

Hi Kids - Want to know more about Dray Horses and other things that sound like Dray?

Hi Kidens! – Ich bin Professor Otto von Biffen-Boffen

“Guten tag kidens!Ich bin Professor Otto von Biff-Boffen and you will see me poppink up on zees brilliant new website every now und again to explain some of the science behind the stories that appear. I live in ein big house at the top of ze village after a career making inventions und testing things for all kinds of different volken in mein home country Germany.  But du willst finden out more about me – and some of my inventions und experiments – as time goes on. You may here me bangink (and the odd small kerpuffenbangen) in the my laboratory in ze back of my hause as you walk through the village!

Mit all ze headlines about people in fallen over in ze village Ich has worked on a new kind of gravel zat you cannot slippen on – and if you do slip on it (which du canst NICHT) but if you do, then you cannot cut yourself on it – because all ze pointy bits of ze gravel automatically point down when dropped. A bit like ein caten always landing on it’s feet. So, in my first prototype I made all ze little bitzen of gravel shaped like little cats – 2,000 separate pieces! I called it “Kitty Gravel.”

Gotten in himmel! It took me ages and costs £20,000 – ein heck of a lot. And when I dropped zem 92% landed on zere side und only 8% on their feeten. None rested on zeer backs with tiny kleine leggen in the air (which was my ’pointy nightmare scenario.’) So that was some success as the cats on their side have limited ‘pointiness’ (a pointiness factor of 0.2 against a pointy bit of gravel which has a PF of 0.65).


Eine prototypen of mein “Kitty Gravellen” Ich machen zousands of zem!!

Anyway. I concluded zat zer cat-shaped gravel is not economically viable as the amount needed to cover the average village driveway would be £4m.

See you next time kids! Keepen inventing!

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