A DVD Review for your Easter Holidays – an apology

Hi there Villagers!

It’s Mr Petersham here, the publisher of WeLoveOurVillage.com.

You may have seen me around the village, with my year-round sun tan and full head of silvery hair – looking kind of a little like George Clooney. I’m only kidding! But some of the ladies did mention this the last time I attended one of the WI meeting – you naughty girls!

Anyway I digress.

I am here to apologise to you for the postponement of a new feature that I had high hopes for.  The feature was going to be called ‘A Night In With. . .” And here we’d fill in the blank with a takeaway idea or some new music or on this occasion a DVD.

We could then sell a few bits of advertising to back this up – mainly from our local takeaway restaurants – of which we have many.

Anyway, I asked my niece Maisie who writes this website to organise the review of a DVD, and for fun – and because she knows a bit about films I suggested that my (third) wife Brett, wrote the review.

We both belong to a local film club which usually shows foreign films which are often very moving both visually and in content

And because it’s nearly the Easter holidays when parents are looking for ‘stuff’ that will keep the little ones ‘quiet and happy’ I suggested that Maisie sorted out a children’s film to be reviewed.

Maisie sent a DVD to my wife – saying that it was an animated adaptation of the children’s favourite book “The Hungry Caterpillar” – it was called “The Human Centipede.”

Me and Brett settled down to watch this film, in all innocence and were quite excited as The Hungry Caterpillar was one of the favourite books of one of my children from my first marriage – Blakey (after the jazz legend Art Blakey not the character from On the Buses).

Well.

We started watching. And then we couldn’t believe what we were watching.

THIS FILM IS NOT AN ANIMATED ADAPTATION OF THE CHILDREN’S FAVOURITE “THE HUNGRY CATERPILLAR” IT IS A SICK FILM AND DEFINITELY NOT FOR CHILDREN – AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS!

This is a sick film.

It is about things that should NOT be depicted on film in my opinion.

I felt quesy and had to go to bed early. And my wife Brett fainted. She doesn’t know how to work the DVD and couldn’t get rid of the images on screen with me up in bed.

As a result of this we are postponing our first ‘A Night in With. . ‘ feature.

I do not know what kind of depraved individual would want a night in with The Human Caterpillar.

Maisie (whom I thought was an expert on foreign films) – told me she made ‘an honest mistake’ and that upsetting my ‘third wife was the last thing she wanted to do.’

Hey, I believe her – as far as I am concerned Caterpillars and Centipedes are easy to get mixed up.

So me and Maisie are cool.

Take care all!

Mr Petersham

PS I hope my review of the Human Centipede doesn’t arouse some curiosity in some of you -  I know some of you will think ‘if old Petersham doesn’t like it - it must be ok.’  If you think like this be warned - it truly is in very bad taste. I am not some old ‘fuddy duddy’ don’t forget it was me and my firts wife who campaigned for The Last Tango in Paris and The Life of Brian to be shown in the village – against some pretty heavy demonstrations against it. I remember the number of placards there were outside our little cinema – in demonstrations organised by local signage entrepreneur Marcus Phelchurch.

PPS If you are wondering why I have written this in our website there are two reasons:

- Maisie is away at the moment ‘having a good think’ about a few things

- some of you may (especially at the WI) may have noticed that my wife Brett hasn’t been around much. To be honest she needs some time to recover from the experience I described above – we thought she was nearly over it and we had her doing some pottering in the garden, but when we thought she was okay, she turned over a flower pot to see a centipede and that set her back weeks.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HTML tags are not allowed.